Fuc – cess

I have coined a new phrase.

I call it Fuc -cess.

I seem to be able to fail and succeed at the same time. So that is my new word for that.

For example: I got into a great acting class, but I am still waiting on a check I was told about 2 months ago to pay for it.

But things are getting better.

Got a new agent, A film I starred in is currently on TV, and things are getting better. I just need to speed them up.

 

-Edward

Momentum

After months of hitting my head against a wall, I’m finally begining to feel a crack. Some positive results with the survival job, a promising preliminary agent meeting.

Now what i have to do is keep going. It has taken a ton of effort and a dash of luck to get the ball rolling, I have to throw everything I have into it.

Tangible evidence of success has not appeared yet, but the mood is different. I know that things are possible, and perhaps that is all I need.

Off to work

-Edward

Upgrade?

I’m a loyal guy. If someone believes in me, I am willing to work with them pretty much under any circumstances. However; I am running a business. So I am torn. Do I stay with people I’m loyal to even if they are unable to get me auditions? Or do I move on?

Putting it in writing, I guess the answer is obvious, But the last time I switched a member of my representation it actually made my business worse.

The problem with being an actor and a businessman is empathy. You need empathy in order to act, but too much of it in a business capacity will cripple you.

Fuck. Well, it really couldn’t hurt.

Ok, I need to have some heart to heart talks.

Edward

 

Draft # 2

OK. WordPress just deleted my last blog entry, which I believe is the Universe’s way to let me know that

a) It was too preachy

and

b) I really should save my drafts.

Anyway, the gist was that I had a very productive day yesterday personally, but it resulted in no results for me towards my business.

That’s cool.

I’ll try again today.

Thanks for reading.

-Edward

 

My Wall Of Goals

…is beginning to look like Russell Crowe’s Shed in A BEAUTIFUL MIND. There is the center listing what I want, the sides listing daily tasks in various categories, Reminders of past successes, an outline of the general steps in my career plan, and a chart of acting tools. (Thank you Michael Chekhov).

And it’s growing.

The truth is, all that I really hav,e is a ridiculous amount of motivation. So I’m going to feed that everything I can. I listed my career goals on my website www.edwardgusts.com . I am tweeting about an old movie I did playing on showtime. And this is not neccessarily about ego or self promotion. It’s about reminding myself that I am in the game.

Now, I do not believe that I can sit on my couch, stare at my goals, and will them to happen with no external effort on my part. I have a checklist of things to do daily, weekly, etc.

But I have learned the hard way that it is very easy to get caught up in doing stuff and checking off lists. To the point where everything becomes equally important.

Without a clear view of my goals; reformatting my website becomes just as urgent as prepping for the next day’s audition.

With a clear view of my goals I can prioritize.

I hope that this doesn’t sound preachy.

I am really preaching to myself.

To be honest; times have been hard. However; for better or worse; I have burned my bridges behind me. I have no fallback plan.

Hell, I couldn’t even get an interview to be a waiter.

And it is probably for the best.

The worst is behind me. I have learned from my mistakes. And I believe.

For a good year, I was working uninspired. I was still getting work, but my heart wasn’t in it. I felt that I was getting very good at giving “Them” what “They” wanted.  I could cry on cue, but who gave a shit? Not me.

And then the work dried up, I made some financial blunders.

And so with nothing else to do, I started practicing stuff for fun.

I took a M ichael Chekhov workshop, I started rehearsing a scene with a friend, I started working on dialects. Not for the business, but for the fun.

Don’t get me wrong. Actors need to treat their business like a business: Show up on time, be prepared, follow the suggestions of your team.

But that can’t be evrything.

If knowing the business was all an actor needed, then Ted Turner would be the greatest actor in the world.

So I have focused on enjoying the work.

And strangely enough, that seems to be helping my business:

While at the Michael Chekhov workshop I received a call telling me an industrial I did was being renewed (which would pay me enough to pay for classes).  I have been auditioning more, Showtime is playing a movie I starred in, and I have been cast in a short that I was originally just fight choreographing.

My flexible schedule (but commission only) sales job is starting to pay off, and most importantly, I’m happier.

Not a bad two weeks.

I don’t know what to think about Serendipity. To be honest, it doesn’t matter. I am happier in my work today than I was a year ago, and (as I said before) I don’t have any other options but to keep going. So I’m going to buckle down, work hard, and enjoy what I do.

Not much else I can do.

Thanks for reading,

Edward

 

Social Media

So…

I have decided to get out of the 90′s and embrace social media.

If you don’t know me yet; I just returned to Facebook from a forced sabbatical.

I have been the guy that makes fun of this stuff.

(In my defense: why is your status update “Turning left at Colorado Blvd.”, why are you checking in at Carls Jr, and why do you need to share with the world that the fast food guy put Mayo on your sandwich when you didn’t want it?)

But it has been pointed out to me that all of these tools are used to communicate.

And just because I don’t like what some people say; I shouldn’t vow to not use language myself.

(If you watch CRADLE WILL ROCK there is a great line about the potential for education with the advent of Television)

(You may have noticed by now; I like parentheticals)

So… My goal is to learn how to use this stuff.

Use it to communicate content that is important.

Even if my last tweet was a picture of my cat playing in tissue paper.

(What can I say? I admire his take on life)

Any advice?

Edward

It Begins

Hi.

This is not my first blog.

But it is the first with my name on it.

Here I will talk about my experiences in the acting, producing, swordfighting world; As well as highlighting movies and plays that I see, both obscure and well publicized, and offering my opinion on them.

Enjoy

 

Edward